My husband, Matt, keeps jokingly asking me if I’m going to write an entry called ‘the lover’. I bet what goes through his mind when he thinks of the word lover is a bit different from what that word calls to my mind. I assume that we both think of sex, but I also think of passion, tenderness and romance. Matt jokes that Nicholas Sparks needs to quit putting all these ideas in my head. Anyone that thinks marriage is going to be like a romance novel is in for some disappointment. Unlike the fictional characters in the novels I enjoy, my husband doesn’t read my mind, surprising me with little gifts. And I, unlike the leading ladies in my favorite romance novels, don’t succumb to my husbands every desire. There have been so many evenings when he is, in not so subtle ways, letting me know what his desires are for the two of us a little later on. All the while I’m thinking, “are you kidding me? What during the course of this evening made you think that was even a possibility?!”
A few years ago, we watched the DVD collection of the original “Dallas.” In season 11, Jenna Wade was trying to decide whether or not to accept Ray Krebb’s proposal. She loves him, but not the way she loved Bobby Ewing. There was magic with Bobby. Miss Ellie told Jenna that marriage doesn’t always have to start out with fireworks. She said that love between a husband and wife evolves with time.
I guess I might be a hopeless romantic. I long for things to be the way they’re ‘supposed’ to be or at least how I think they are supposed to be. I wanted Jenna Wade to have love with fireworks and for Julia Ormond to choose Brad Pitt in “Legends of the Fall.” I hoped that Jennifer Aniston’s and Vince Vaughn’s characters would get back together in the movie “The Break Up.” I guess that’s why we promise for better or worse in our vows. Love is not always going to live up to our ideals.
My number one piece of advice to keep the romance alive is to communicate. I’ll tell you who did a fantastic job of that and it is former President Ronald Reagan. Have you ever read the book “I Love You, Ronnie: the Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy?” If you haven’t, I hope you will. It’s very endearing.
Ronald Reagan’s love letters remind me of Noah, from The Notebook. One of our favorite lines from that movie is “I read to her, and she remembers” by James Garner. Noah had written down their story from beginning to end in a notebook. Be still my heart. I think I need to watch it again. And then go see Safe Haven because, I’m a hopeless romantic.
See you in class,
Mrs. Hines
About Mrs. Hines
Sharon, Beautiful post and so fitting for Valentines Day!
Thank you, Tina.
The next Nicholas Sparks movie comes out today! My married daughter and I are going to see it Saturday and have a chick day out! I don’t read romance novels except for his because they are based in NC and are so very sweet. Not always a happy ending, but a great love story. It’s one of the reasons I scrapbook and blog, to tell our story for our children and their children. Not just the great days, but the everyday simple pleasures and joys.
A chick day sounds so fun. As far as romance novels go, I only read Nicholas Sparks novels too. He’s a great story teller AND because of his novels, I’m so captivated by NC and am so eager to visit. (I’ve never been to NC.) And what a great reason to scrapbook and blog! I think our children need to know what a real marriage looks like. You’re passing on a beautiful legacy.
I have been in love with my husband for 46 years and we have been married 42 years. Life has its ups and downs that is for sure, but our love has never waivered. It has grown into something that words can not even express. I find love is not the grand gestures that are portrayed in a movie, but the simple everyday things. The way he can tell I am tired so he goes and gets something for dinner. It is the way he looks at me when I come into a room, How he still holds my hand when we walk side by side. It is the assurance he will always be there for me and watch over me. Love goes beyond the physical and becomes the center of your very being. The notebook is one of our all time favorites. After we saw it in the theater we stood there after everyone left the theater and looked at eachother and cried and embraced. Our favorite line is when his children were begging him to move back home and he told them,”She is my HOME!” That is what love is to me. HE is my home!!
Kathysue
oh, wow. What a beautiful love story you and your husband have shared. My parents just celebrated 45 years.
Matt and I have been married for 15 years and I look forward to our future. I’m lucky enough to say that I’m blessed to be familiar with those looks, the thoughtful gestures and the hand holding.
My husband is very affectionate. He’s all about cuddling and hand holding and always kissing goodbye. He’s actually more cuddly than me, I think. But we also have those times when I think, like you said, “What during the course of this evening made you think that was even a possibility?” Like many couples we have those times when I start to wonder if he’s completely clueless about what a woman needs. I’m sure he thinks similarly about me sometimes. It’s a good thing we’re both so stubborn and determined…even in love. We’re made for each other!
Beautiful post Sharon. Hope you had a beautiful day!
Sherry, I love hearing people speak highly of their marriage and their spouse. I’m so glad you have that kind of relationship. It makes it so much easier to get through the hard times when you know you’re married to the right person.