My husband, Matt, keeps jokingly asking me if I’m going to write an entry called ‘the lover’. I bet what goes through his mind when he thinks of the word lover is a bit different from what that word calls to my mind. I assume that we both think of sex, but I also think of passion, tenderness and romance. Matt jokes that Nicholas Sparks needs to quit putting all these ideas in my head. Anyone that thinks marriage is going to be like a romance novel is in for some disappointment. Unlike the fictional characters in the novels I enjoy, my husband doesn’t read my mind, surprising me with little gifts. And I, unlike the leading ladies in my favorite romance novels, don’t succumb to my husbands every desire. There have been so many evenings when he is, in not so subtle ways, letting me know what his desires are for the two of us a little later on. All the while I’m thinking, “are you kidding me? What during the course of this evening made you think that was even a possibility?!”
A few years ago, we watched the DVD collection of the original “Dallas.” In season 11, Jenna Wade was trying to decide whether or not to accept Ray Krebb’s proposal. She loves him, but not the way she loved Bobby Ewing. There was magic with Bobby. Miss Ellie told Jenna that marriage doesn’t always have to start out with fireworks. She said that love between a husband and wife evolves with time.
I guess I might be a hopeless romantic. I long for things to be the way they’re ‘supposed’ to be or at least how I think they are supposed to be. I wanted Jenna Wade to have love with fireworks and for Julia Ormond to choose Brad Pitt in “Legends of the Fall.” I hoped that Jennifer Aniston’s and Vince Vaughn’s characters would get back together in the movie “The Break Up.” I guess that’s why we promise for better or worse in our vows. Love is not always going to live up to our ideals.
My number one piece of advice to keep the romance alive is to communicate. I’ll tell you who did a fantastic job of that and it is former President Ronald Reagan. Have you ever read the book “I Love You, Ronnie: the Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy?” If you haven’t, I hope you will. It’s very endearing.
Ronald Reagan’s love letters remind me of Noah, from The Notebook. One of our favorite lines from that movie is “I read to her, and she remembers” by James Garner. Noah had written down their story from beginning to end in a notebook. Be still my heart. I think I need to watch it again. And then go see Safe Haven because, I’m a hopeless romantic.
See you in class,